Familiarity: The Enemy of Honor
Honor is often found in close proximity. The person or thing deserving of honor is usually nearby. However, familiarity can either deny or delay the honor that is due. Often, those who owe honor decline to give it because they view the person or thing to be honored as worthless.
What is Familiarity?
The word “familiarity” comes from the root word “familiar” and can be understood through the Hebrew word shalom, which means completeness, soundness, welfare, peace, safety, health, prosperity, and friendship—especially in human relationships and in covenant relationships with God.
Psalm 41:9
Even my own familiar friend, in whom I trusted (relied on and was confident), who ate of my bread, has lifted up his heel against me.(AMP)Jeremiah 20:10
For I have heard many whispering and defaming, [There is] terror on every side! Denounce him! Let us denounce him! Say all my familiar friends, they who watch for my fall, Perhaps he will be persuaded and deceived; then we will prevail against him, and we will get our revenge on him.(AMP)
However, the word is used negatively in the Old Testament to describe familiar spirits, which are associated with witchcraft
Isaiah 8:19
And when the people [instead of putting their trust in God] shall say to you, Consult for direction mediums and wizards who chirp and mutter, should not a people seek and consult their God? Should they consult the dead on behalf of the living?(KJV)
Merriam-Webster’s Definition of “Familiar”:
As a noun:
- A member of the household of a high official.
- One who is often seen and well known, especially an intimate associate or companion.
- A spirit, often embodied in an animal, believed to attend, serve, or guard a person (e.g., the loathsome toad, the witch’s familiar—Harvey Graham).
- One who is well acquainted with something (e.g., “familiars of violence”—John Updike).
- One who frequents a place (e.g., “familiars of the embassy”—Rebecca West).
As an adjective:
- Closely acquainted or intimate (e.g., a familiar family friend).
- Obsolete: Affable or sociable.
- Of or relating to a family (e.g., remembering past familiar celebrations).
- Frequented by families (e.g., a familiar resort).
- Free and easy (e.g., the familiar association of old friends).
- Marked by informality (e.g., a familiar essay).
- Overly free and unrestrained; presumptuous (e.g., grossly familiar behavior).
- Moderately tame (e.g., familiar animals).
- Frequently seen or experienced; easily recognized (e.g., a familiar theme).
- Of everyday occurrence (e.g., a familiar routine).
- Possibly known but imperfectly remembered (e.g., her face looked familiar).
- Having personal or intimate knowledge (e.g., familiar with the facts of the case).
The highlighted portions gives a deeper understanding of familiarity. Familiarity in a negative sense implies an abuse of personal or intimate knowledge, leading to dishonor. It means despising what you are privileged to frequently see or experience, such as your spouse sexually, friends, or the fellowship of the brethren. Dishonor often lurks around intimacy. In Nigerian parlance, this is referred to as “see finish.”
No one honors what they have lost respect for. “See finish” will never allow you to honor what is close by.
Jesus’ experience is something to think about:
Mark 6:1-6
“Then He went out from there and came to His own country, and His disciples followed Him. And when the Sabbath had come, He began to teach in the synagogue. And many hearing Him were astonished, saying, ‘Where did this Man get these things? And what wisdom is this which is given to Him, that such mighty works are performed by His hands! Is this not the carpenter, the Son of Mary, and brother of James, Joses, Judas, and Simon? And are not His sisters here with us?’ So they were offended at Him. But Jesus said to them, ‘A prophet is not without honor except in his own country, among his own relatives, and in his own house.’ Now He could do no mighty work there, except that He laid His hands on a few sick people and healed them. And He marveled because of their unbelief. Then He went about the villages in a circuit, teaching.”
In His hometown, they were familiar with Him and doubted His ministry. They mentioned His siblings’ names, referenced His lineage, and were offended by Him—this offense being akin to witchcraft. Their familiarity kept the power and glory of God from reaching them. They questioned His teaching and authority, and this is what happens when you become overly familiar with your pastor, the brethren, the place of gathering, worship patterns, and teachings. “See finish” creeps in, causing the word and power to become powerless in your life.
This can happen with anyone you are in close relationship with. We must choose to honor and hold in high esteem those we are familiar with at all times.
Mark 7:6-13
“He answered and said to them, ‘Well did Isaiah prophesy of you hypocrites, as it is written: “This people honors Me with their lips, But their heart is far from Me. And in vain they worship Me, Teaching as doctrines the commandments of men.” For laying aside the commandment of God, you hold the tradition of men—the washing of pitchers and cups, and many other such things you do.’ He said to them, ‘All too well you reject the commandment of God, that you may keep your tradition. For Moses said, “Honor your father and your mother”; and, “He who curses father or mother, let him be put to death.” But you say, “If a man says to his father or mother, ‘Whatever profit you might have received from me is Corban'” (that is, a gift to God), then you no longer let him do anything for his father or his mother, making the word of God of no effect through your tradition which you have handed down. And many such things you do.'”
The dishonor of the word made it ineffective in their lives, leading them to dishonor their parents and take pride in it. Every dishonor of God’s word breeds a terrible affront to honoring the things God has placed honor on.
In marriage, the husband is to honor his wife, exalting her to a place of graceful acknowledgment and treatment:
1 Peter 3:7
“In the same way you married men should live considerately with [your wives], with an intelligent recognition [of the marriage relation], honoring the woman as [physically] the weaker, but [realizing that you] are joint heirs of the grace (God’s unmerited favor) of life, in order that your prayers may not be hindered and cut off. [Otherwise, you cannot pray effectively.]”
Meanwhile, the wife must honor her husband as her head, Lord, and authority over her life:
1 Corinthians 11:3-5
“But I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God. Every man praying or prophesying, having his head covered, dishonors his head. But every woman who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head, for that is one and the same as if her head were shaved.”
To “uncover her head” here means to usurp the husband’s authority, to disrespect and disregard him, which is akin to witchcraft and referred to as the Jezebelic spirit. Also, the marriage bed should be honored:
Hebrews 13:4
“Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.”
Honoring what God has honored is based on honoring His word, which in turn is based on honoring His prophet. Dishonor arises from familiarity. Forbid the “see finish” spirit, as it is a bewitchment that denies the sheep the power and wisdom of the word from their pastor or shepherd. It causes offense that denies you the richness of the word.
See him until you hear him with delight. Avoid “see finish.” Honor the closeness, as it is the access that keeps his mouth enlarged over your enlarged heart. Out of this attitude comes the honor system of God, the reciprocity of His goodness and glory.
I call you blessed.